Mind Stuck in The Negative Thinks
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| Negative Thoughts |
See it as it is see it better than it is make it the way you want it let me give you five steps to really utilizing the power of positive thinking even I always said this is about negative thinking and let me show you how to use negative thinking in an assignment how to make negative thinking something that's useful for you
1. Decide to develop the habit right now the habit of focusing on what's right in your role instead of what's wrong the habit of focusing on what you do have instead of what you don't have in a situation and as basic as that is and as well as you know it you've got to make it a habit because those habits form the chain of your ultimate character will you become and how you end up living your life we've got to condition ourselves because if we don't we'll go back to the automatic state that most people live in in today's society the way to develop the habit is to go on a mental diet I did this several years ago as positive as I was and I was going through unbelievable pain at the time I'd have some major disappointment some frustrations I felt like I'd given it all but turned me around and one day I picked up this book called the seven-day mental diet it was a little tiny little booklet and all the booklet really did was for about 12 of the 14 pages it challenged me to really see if I could really truly for seven days live my life without one negative thought and it kept saying throughout the book now don't just say yeah I can do it don't just say I'm going to do it think for a while before you commit to this don't actually commit unless you're really going to do it for seven straight days no matter what it doesn't mean you don't have a negative thought it just means that if you have a negative thought you don't speak it you set it aside you forget about it or you replace it you say something negative you go erase what I really mean is this or you say that's not what I mean here's what I mean is this and you immediately focus on something good it's not that nothing negative ever comes out it's that you immediately do not allow yourself to hold a negative feeling a negative thought for seven straight days day and night even when it gets tough even when somebody disappoint you even when you get frustrated even when you give your all and still turns up lousy listen if all I did was rant rave on the state when you didn't listen anything else I said but you took on the seven day challenge you can't believe what it'll do to your life not going to tell you when I first read the book I thought wait a second being positive isn't going to change my life I got to be able to real problems around me those real challenges that are out don't just be positive something says how's it going to go I'm doing great and I go why you go I don't know but I just feel good I don't wanna be that way I want to be real I want to be on top of things but you know what I thought wait a second I can be positive about solutions I can still notice that there's some challenges out there without being negative about it I can look at the challenges and say okay here's what's good about this here's how we can use this here's how we can turn this thing around and continue to focus on that so I took on the challenge for seven days change my life now by the way one of the keys is you have to have seven straight days of being absolutely positive not one negative thought not one negative expression that you hold on to gotta let go of it immediately if you do not do this if you're three days into it you do well then you have a bunch of negativity you got to start over and you know what after you go about four five six days in a row doing really well something major negative is going to happen Zephyrs and positive programming but what it is is a test is the out committed you really are I say something after seven days you feel like a different person people around you respond to you like you're different as well all you want to do is establish the habit of noticing what you do have instead of what you don't have noticing what's great about a situation versus what's not great focusing on solution and set of problems that's what changes your life.
2. Instead of judging yourself and others decide remember these are decisions decide right now to become curious instead of judgmental remember when you find fault in other people you start noticing constantly how they've wronged you how this person is not good enough or they're too egotistical they're too proud if they don't really care about people soon as you start judging other people you just got to remember something if you start judging other people you can also start judging yourself intensely if you're angry at other people is a very good chance you're angry at yourself as well maybe proceed more in judge less maybe instead of finding fault with other people without really thinking about what they've gone through to be where they are this day maybe get really curious about what's making this person be in the state they're in or what's the motivation behind this person's anger for example lot of times I think something's being negative or angry or frustrated with them but we never bother to find out what's really going on I know myself I was a party recently I fell prey to this there was a woman who came to the party everybody behind her back aligned with how unbelievably egotistical as one of the how negative she was but you know when I sat next to her at dinner time I got a chance to really find out who she was I get curious about her I'm gonna find about all the pain she's been through in her life when I realized was this woman was just barely hanging on to her life she doesn't even know that people care but she was so afraid of being rejected that she could help this ego because she didn't want someone to reject her so she figured she rejected him first and I got a chance to really know when she was a wonderful person I play something else we got to be careful of that ties in with this far being judgmental out of our fear of having heroes in our society today we seem to try and consume them and destroy them as quick as we can we try to find something that's wrong with our heroes because boy we don't want another Jim Jones another Jim Baker remember we got a judge less perceive more we got to get curious instead of living in a society where we're so afraid so afraid to believe in anything or anyone that we believe in nothing at all and we lose our power our power of positive thinking we try to protect ourselves and things we maybe not even need to protect ourselves from or we live in a society where we try and destroy our heroes we take something like Barbara Walters incredible broadcaster a woman of incredible integrity who gets nailed by one person in a book and it's in every newspaper across the land now she probably stomped on be able to get where she was that's absurd our Martin Luther King after he's passed on somebody comes back and stomps all over his career his reputation is that the society want to live in any person who takes Glee and watching another person's pain will experience plenty of pain themselves remember the quote he was without sin let him cast the first stone the bottom line is if you go looking for Brown you're going to find it anywhere you look for in others or yourself for yourself from the disease of making others wrong and you'll free yourself from the disease and making yourself wrong you have a lot more energy to create solution instead of problems it's part of the power of positive thinking instead of falling for the destructive power of negative thinking if you want to get curious just ask yourself what do I like about this person wonder what's going on with this person that would make them feel this way how could I help this person as you guys these kinds of questions you may learn something about how human beings operate about their motivations maybe even some things about how to support yourself as you try to support others remember get curious instead of judgmental.
3. If you really want to develop the power of positive thinking as a habit as a lifestyle are the strategy for success then decide right now to find something to appreciate from any seemingly negative person or situation and develop the habit of giving compliments see if you really want to have some more positive feelings in your life you got to keep focusing on what's right you got to get curious and most importantly got to find something to appreciate even in the tough times because in reality is we've talked about so often before the toughest times in your life sometimes provide you with the real resources to change your life so what we've got to do is find something to appreciate not some day when things work out we gotta appreciate where we are right now and this is something I talk to my daughter Jolie about today because she's in an experience today where I thought well gosh she's not being very positive I'm going to talk about positive thinking cuz she came in to see me and she's feeling really sad she's feeling really down feeling really frustrated and her problem is her problem is she tried out and won the right to be amongst three girls who dance in the electric light parade at Disneyland that was about three or four months ago she has been going there after school every day driving from San Diego up to Anaheim burning herself into the ground getting up and going to school to be a straight-a student still trying to visit with her family and a boyfriend and she found herself maxing out nothing about her problem a problem is that she gets to be at Disneyland and fulfill a childhood fantasy a problem is that she had loves her family and wants to be with them as well her problem is she loves to be at school and really do that her problem is she has so much abundance that she has to figure out how to get on one day and she can't do it she's physically burning out that's her problem you know what she says gosh I want to be home I want to be with you guys and all these things I want I don't want to miss out on all this great time we have together I want to be with you guys I said bye honey look what you're doing school yeah well I don't want to miss that on Disneyland either I don't want to miss out on my career and what I'm doing what's going on what's the problem the problem is she's finding out what's negative in both situations she's focusing on what she doesn't have instead of what she does have now I could be negative about that and say gosh be more positive but you know what in reality I realized being negative in this situation may not be bad what do I mean I don't mean being negative I mean being intelligent I mean being critical in your thinking seeing what you don't have is sometimes useful too this is what I promised you in the power of negative thinking here's how negative things can be useful I sat down with her and I said honey I said let's look at the advantages and disadvantages the bulb let's not just be positive let's get it the whole thing is positive let's know that no matter what you choose you've won you have what most people dream about but for a moment let's be a little bit critical what do you love about Disneyland what is great about it what is it giving you and let's ask the question that maybe we don't ask three times we're just being purely positive what isn't it giving you what are you afraid about what are you missing by being there what's great about being at home or what's great about those things what's not great about that be honest if you were there what might happen that's not good what might you miss out on and you know what by getting her to use both positive and negative thinking or to be more accurate positive thinking and some critical thinking looking at what isn't there for the moment what she is missing out on and allowing that pain the motivator she was able to clarify what's most important in her life and what's the best way to do that and she came up with a plan that totally empowered her after a couple hours of conversation and fun she looks better than she has in about six months because she's finally resolved with most important and sometimes just being positive keeping a stiff upper lip isn't enough sometimes you got to stop and say I am positive I'm gonna approach this from a positive way I'm gonna stay in a positive state but I ask some questions some people may think of as negative which is what isn't working because if you're not willing look at what isn't working you can get yourself in trouble so I say number three is develop the habit of noticing something you can appreciate out of the situation even something that seems to be negative what I mean by that is find out what's working but also appreciate what isn't working appreciated enough that maybe it creates enough pain for you don't want to make a change hey being purely positive all the time is not the ultimate solution being clearly positive 98% of the time to me is the solution remember our steps number one you're going to focus on how it really is and that's what we did today Joe and I sat down and said let's go out really is not so hot just be positive let's stop for a second how is it really what's good what isn't good what's great what isn't great in this context everything is great but comparatively what's great what's not both situations now how do you really want it and you decide to actually want it now what are we gonna do to make that happen take actions have changed her life probably will affect the direction of her life maybe even her career and she feels joyous and excited because she went through the steps that's the balance between positive negative thinking but one thing you got to remember you must spend most of your time being positive once you see how it is that's it decide what you want and make it happen don't keep going back and saying oh yeah but it's not working see balance doesn't mean you spend 50% of your time positive 50% is down negative remember balance on a human scale is a little different negative experiences are dense and it doesn't take a lot of those focuses of negative to weigh a lot in your life make sure your focus is primarily positive but at times at special times that you designate you're going to say hey what isn't working and allow that pain to drive you to do something that's very positive that'll change your life.
4. Decide not to be perfect say what I said decide not to be perfect one way to make sure you're negative is always trying to be perfect you know what you're always going to notice you're not because your this thing called a human being when I talk to my daughter Jolie and this girl works so hard to be perfect everybody seems the lever Jesus straight-a students you want to be the very best at schools you want to be the very best at homes you want to be the very best it is and chose to be the best at everything and I'm trying to be the best constantly in the past she always noticed what wasn't perfect and that created pain so you can't do that you're gonna screw up you're gonna be negative things are going to happen where you don't follow through on what you know you're going to make poor decisions you're going to say things you shouldn't say do things you shouldn't do mess up like you shouldn't mess up but you know what when that happens instead of being negative and beating yourself up in sand boy here's another example means sabotaging myself decide what you do want and say you know I'm not perfect but I am good and what makes me good what makes me great what can make me excellent as soon as I notice I'm not on track I correct it and I get better your goal each day is to get better not to be perfect and that's all anyone can ask of you if every day you really try and contribute more be more and do more then you were slightly the day before all anybody can ask and if you know you're going to screw up and you don't make it a catastrophe it's easier to bounce right back up see the only way you fail is if you quit but if you learn something and you expand from it and you make some new decisions and answer your life and the people you care about then there is no failure don't try to be perfect because you'll never is the glean there's a vinyl one.
5. Decide to develop the habit of using the f-word space make sure that you're in the position of utilizing the tool that really positive thinking is about positive thinking I've said it over and over again really is just the power to believe and as you believe those are done unto you as you believe so it's created you need to make certain that you create that certainty inside yourself and you know what you and I both know there going to be times when it looks grim and the only power you really have is that power to have faith to step forth and say I'm going to put myself on the line I'm gonna have the courage to overcome my fears and to take action even though it may not work out even though I may put out my love and it may not be reciprocated I'm still going to put myself on the line because if I don't that's the only way I can fail see without faith nothing exists and remember one more thing no matter how bad it seems this dual pass that you've made it this far you've been through tough times times you didn't think you could pull it off and you've made it if you've made it through all the challenges of your past and your life still works you still seem to be somewhat happy you're still standing as they say and gosh darn it you're successful and you can make it through this too it's the thing that will pull you through faith is still the power it's your ultimate power...
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