Anger Management Anger Body

Anger Management Anger Body

Anger Management

The first step in dealing with anger is becoming aware of the subtle body signals that are letting you know that somethings wrong. You've probably experienced noticing that something was going on with someone and saying "are you angry?" and they go "angry? I'm not angry, what makes you think I'm angry?" and the jaw is tightly clinched. Sometimes people actually literally are in denial about feeling their own anger but the body is giving them all kinds of messages, clinched jaw, grinding teeth at night, maybe even just standing around and realizing that you're holding your hand in a fist and looking down and you've, actually, been white knuckling it and not even realizing it. Sometimes it's holding your breath because something is bothering you and "I shouldn't say anything about it", or "it's not ok to tell that person I'm angry", or "I shouldn't feel angry". Becoming aware of the body and all the subtle things in the body, is the first step for figuring out what you're angry about because when you notice the tightness in the body, then you listen to the thought and listen to what your self conversation is going on, what you're talking to or saying to yourself. That will tell you what's happening inside of you to realize that you're upset about something, a violation has accrued, a loss has accrued, you're feeling frustrated about something. Anger is this "why" spectrum of emotion from what, most of us, would call annoyed or frustrated to that violence and rage that none of us really want to be around or involved in. If we can start noticing the anger when it's over here, on this end of the spectrum, when it's that annoyance, and that frustration, and the irritation or that sense of loss that we don't feel very good about, if we can recognize that here then we can act faster and act sooner so that we don't become that volcano that erupts in somebody's face over the tiniest little thing...

How to Overcome Anxiety | How to Manage Stress

How to Overcome Anxiety How to Manage Stress

How to Manage Stress

Wow, so there's no saber tooth tiger in the room, I have a problem to solve and here is my body gearing up as if I am going to be killed and eaten, by this tiger. So it is important to recognize the difference between real danger, physical danger, and the kind of danger that says I need to do something. I need to solve a problem I need to attend to something in order for life to continue as happily as it's possible to be. So I need to stop, well let’s have some basic rules, ok. Basic rules of stress management. If there is nothing to do, don't do anything. So if I am tight like this and there is nothing to use it on, I should stop. And I might have a tool such as the contingency sample that you have learned about to relax, to clear my mind and think about what is there to do. Second rule, action, plus relaxation equals lower stress, so is there a saber tooth tiger in the room, well it looks like an action time. Do I have to call somebody, make a decision, buy something, do some research to solve the problem, that's action. Do I have to say to somebody who is clicking their gum at the next desk, would you mind stopping because I can't concentrate, that's action. But what if the problem can't be solved by anything that I am aware of right now, I don't have an answer, I can't think of anything to do. I am completely be fuddled that's the relaxation part. If I can't think of anything to do, rather than bang my head against the wall because I can't think of anything to do it would be very effective to stop, relax, clear my mind and then figure out what to next...

Tips For Giving A Great Speech | Tips For Eye Contact

Public Speaking Giving A Great Speech

Tips For Giving A Great Speech

The face. Can't talk about the body and not talk about the face, because the face is a really important part of public speaking. Why? The eyes. And yes, there really is some truth to that. I can't build a relationship with you as the listener unless you make eye contact with me, so it's really, really important that you make eye contact. Now, there's a couple of rules here. Make eye contact, rather than delivering your entire speech like this, and never, ever, ever, ever, ever looking up. You don't want to do that. But I'll tell you what's even worse, and I find this as a public speaking professor, that the student will sit there and they will give the entire speech looking directly in my eyes, piercing wholes through my flesh. Yeah, no, that makes me uncomfortable. So you have to get to where you can kind of take a look around. Talk to your entire audience. Not avoid them, not focus on one, but talk to everybody. And it's a little tricky because what we tend to do is we tend to focus where we're getting the most positive feedback. And I'm going to talk about that later. But the person who is giving you a smile and a nod is the person that you're going to become the most comfortable looking at. But don't forget to deliver your speech to the whole group, making eye contact with everyone. And again, with the face, relax and smile. You don't want to deliver your speech with an oatmeal face, and you never smile, and is really expressionless, because, well, you know, it would be more exciting to lick cardboard. Use your face. Smile, make great eye contact.

Tips For Eye Contact

Tips For Eye Contact

Eye contact. We just talked about the face and how we want to be real expressive. But, now I want to talk about your eyes. And, this is really important. Remember, I talked about how you have your material in a book. Two things that you should not do with your eyes. One, leave your eyes down on the pages of the book throughout the whole reading. If we never see your eyes, if we never make eye contact with you we can't build a relationship with you. At the same time, you don't want to look at us the whole time and never look down at your book. Because, if you never look down at your book that means the material is memorized. And, you can't memorize this material. So, you definitely want to be real familiar with the material. Familiar enough, that you can make eye contact. But, find a balance. Looking at us, looking at the audience, looking at the book. Us, the book, us, the book. Find that perfect balance of eye contact... 

Facial Expressions | Nonverbal Communication

Facial Expressions Nonverbal Communication

Facial Expressions

The face. There are actually two things that your face communicates. The first thing that I want to talk about is what your face communicates with or without trying. You may manipulate your face to communicate something. But a lot of times our facial expressions just happen in reaction to the things around us. And that is facial communication. It has been proven that your face can communicate all of these emotions simply by what you do with it. Surprise, fear, anger, sadness, disgust, contempt, interest and happiness. There are other researchers that also believe, and I believe it as well, that our face can communicate bewilderment. When we just don't really know exactly what it is you are trying to tell us and we don't understand. So sometimes you can be aware of what you do with your face. Sometimes it's just going to be an automatic reaction. I might make a mental choice to, to prove to you through my face that I'm not very happy. Or I might walk in the door and you've thrown me a surprise birthday party that I didn't know about, that's going to be something that's automatic. These are neither good nor necessarily bad. They establish to the person you're trying to communicate with a stronger understanding of how you feel. So I encourage you to use them but don't abuse them...

Preparing For A Job Interview | JOB INTERVIEWS

PREPARING FOR A JOB INTERVIEW

Preparing For A Job Interview

Some of the things that you want to look for mock interview, or if you're not going to tape it, have your friend observe your nonverbal behavior. And what I'm talking about when I say nonverbal behavior is your eye contact. It is imperative that you make eye contact with your interviewer. Not that you, don't be all staring off, and at the same time, like don't bore holes through him with such an intense stare that it becomes uncomfortable. But you want to make good eye contact. You want to smile. Not like a Cheshire cat nonstop, but by smiling it shows that you're a friendly person. You want to sit with good posture. You don't want to be all slouched over in the chair, don't put your feet up on the table or anything like that. But you want to sit and have nice posture. Your hand gestures are real important. The first thing that you do, is you don't want to cross your arms, because this is a very defensive gesture. It's important to use hand gestures, now you don't want to be all over the place with your hand gestures, but hand gestures are good. They're important. And what your gestures, your hand gestures, your body positioning, your eye contact, that actually shows your interviewer a lot of things about that you are or that you are not. Alert, assertive, dependable, confident, responsible, and energetic. Your body language can express all those things to the interviewer, so that's one of the things that you want to pay real close attention to as you're practicing for your interview...

How to Manage Fear | How to Overcome Fear

How to Manage Fear

How to Manage Fear

Alright.. letting go of our fear and you mentioned that you were " I was terrified", terrified, What can people do? What are real techniques and tools that you can give them? Well, we are one, we are one and there's a universal principle and I can only just share with you what happened to me. And that is when I was tossing and turning I thought of a million excuses I could make up to cancel this. I mean everything I could think of. I was frozen in fear. I felt that every part of my body ached. It was a physical manifestation. I was terrified and what I did is I just laid down and let myself be miserable. I mean, I probably laid there for about an hour and really I kept asking myself what am I really afraid of. What is really scaring me and I had to really work with myself and be and allow myself to cry, and allow myself to stomp around the house And go into the bathroom and wash myself a few times and ask myself why am I freaking out about this? Cause fear grips you that is why they use the word grip. You?re like wow this is scary, and sometimes we don't even know why were scary. It can take years to work through this stuff. But the more you stay accepted, know what's there and look at what's really going on. What am I really afraid of here because it's usually hidden and if you can dig down to what's really hidden. Really, yes, for me what's scary for me about this book is that is didn't come from me, it doesn't feel like it. It came through me. And when I was on a TV show many years ago right after I first wrote the book somebody he said to me "oh, so this came from God. People were not open to the fact that there's a consciousness you can just step into and just focus on. So my fear is really coming from that experience. That oh what if that happens again? What if people think you?re crazy that you had this book come to you? You know it's a lot easier to say I wrote this book I spent twenty five years writing this book that would be easy. To say it came to me in two days was not easy. There's a possibility of rejection for me and that was what my fear was rejection or judgment. I think a lot of fear comes from that rejection and judgment and that's why is important to love yourself and to say you know what I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to and sometimes you may drive halfway to the party and turn around and go back but at least you got half way there. You know I do the marathon every year. I've done 19 LA marathons and for about two weeks before the marathon I tell everybody I'm terrified. It's 26.2 miles, it's a long way and a lot of people don't make it to the starting line. I say once you cross the starting line at the marathon your half way there. Cause what happens before you have to step over that starting line is horrific. It's so huge. You figure out so many ways to psyche yourself out, so stepping past it. You know the journey doesn't begin starting at the starting line, it's getting there. Once you get to the party your halfway there even if you walk in for five minutes and walk out. You showed up and showing up is the way to get the life you want. And you know what this is with everything from taking a class, going out on a date, or even asking somebody out on a date, attempting to start a business. But the truth is when one of us steps us, we all step up and as each of us rises up our vibration it helps to raise everybody else. That's true. You know it's wonderful to be a part of the solution and ask for support. You know if you open your heart and ask someone, you know I'm afraid to go by myself will you go with me? Yeah, yeah, that's good, that's great. So support is a good way to deal with fear. Good point, excellent...

The Ultimate Guide To Anger Management - Trending topics and Information

The Ultimate Guide To Anger Management

Anger Management 

So in those 27 different emotional reactions that we have every hour some of them are going to be on that spectrum of anger. And once we recognize the body symptoms again the gnawing of the teeth, the clenching of the hands, one of the most important things that we can do is called changing our state. And it is a very very simple thing to do actually. One is that when the emotions are coming up and we don't want to feel them regardless of which emotion it is our tendency is to hold our breath, we literally stop breathing. And so the fastest and easiest way to change your state is to take a deep breath and now I don't mean, I don't mean an exasperated sigh, that is not what I mean by a deep breath. I literally mean filling up your whole body with a full breath, using all of your lungs to bring in oxygen, that life giving energy and move that other energy through the body through the exhale so it is a big...and literally your physical state changes and because emotions are chemicals and action in your body then your emotional state changes. Another thing you can do is if you are sitting down stand up and if you are standing up sit down, if you are standing still walk, movement is a great way to get energy in motion actually to go out and through the body so you can let go of whatever it is that is going on. Now these are all things that we have been talking about that you can do when you are first recognizing that if in fact you are annoyed, frustrated, angry, whatever word it is on that big spectrum called anger. Let's take the next few segments and talk about what you can do when anger has been built up and you want to let it go so that it doesn't explode in the wrong place at the wrong time on the wrong person...